I remember being 15 and writing a list of all the qualities I wanted in my future husband.
You might be reading this and have external preferences such as appearance, cultural background, financial status, social skills, etc.
We all have the right to like what we like and I, of course, have these preferences as well.
The qualities I have listed below are qualities that are more internal than external. These are qualities that I desired when I was a single girl and now as a married woman, I can attest that these qualities are still essential.
Note: As you read these qualities I am not dictating that you should desire a perfect man. No one is 100% perfect. However, you should be mindful of whether or not you see the intention in developing these qualities if they are not yet possessed.
Humility
“True humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less”.
A humble man is not self-serving. A humble man is pleasant to people even if he will receive nothing in return. A humble man speaks kindly, not rudely to others. A humble man is open-handed and not tight-fisted. A humble man shows care in both words and actions. A humble man knows the value of an apology. A humble man is aware that life isn’t about being served, but being of service.
Honesty
Proverbs 12:19 says “Lies last only a moment, but the truth lasts forever.”
An honest man is a man who “says what he means and means what he says.” An honest man does not pretend to be someone he is not. An honest man is open about his failures and shortcomings. An honest man hates deception and values integrity. An honest man is direct. An honest man holds you accountable even if that means telling you what you may not want to hear.
Ambition
“A man’s worth is no greater than his ambitions”
An ambitious man is not complacent. An ambitious man is always yearning to grow-spiritually, financially, intellectually, emotionally. An ambitious man despises stagnancy. An ambitious man thinks about the present and how he can be better prepared for the future. An ambitious man builds a legacy. An ambitious man knows that God has called him to be blessed so he can be a blessing to others.
Confidence
“Confidence is silent, insecurities are loud.”
A confident man does not desire to prove himself to anyone because he is secure in being the man that God has called him to be. A confident man can lead boldly. A confident man is assertive and levelheaded. A confident man refuses to be shaken by the opinions of others. A confident man looks at the future with optimism. A confident man knows how to dominate without being a bully.
Purity
“Everything is pure, to those whose hearts are pure” -Titus 1:15
A pure man knows a woman’s worth is not defined by her physicality. A pure man respects boundaries. A pure man reserves physical intimacy for marriage. A pure man does not embrace lust. A pure man has genuine motives.
Maturity
“When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me” – 1 Corinthians 13:11
A mature man has realized that he is no longer a boy. A mature man has put away childish games and thinking. A mature man refuses to awaken love in a woman until he is fully ready to embrace it. A mature man pursues what he wants, he does not wait for it to come to him. A mature man no longer thinks solely for himself but also for those that will come after him. A mature man is determined to pick himself up no matter what curve-balls life throws at him. A mature man extends grace to others. A mature man does not hold grudges. A mature man does not act on impulse.
Christ-likeness
“To become Christ-like is the only thing in the world worth caring for, the thing which every ambition of man is folly and all lower achievements vain”
A Christ-like man emulates Jesus. A Christ-like man values prayer and the Word of God. A Christ-like man walks in the Spirit and not in his flesh. A Christ-like man understands the importance of church fellowship. A Christ-like man is bold about his faith. A Christ-like man desires equally yoked relationships. A Christ-like man loves his bride as Christ loves the church.
I decided to save the most important quality for last. More than any other quality in the world, you should desire a Christ-like man. A Christ-like man should be humble, honest, ambitious, confident, pure, mature, and of course, loving. He possesses these qualities not to get a woman or to win the praise of men, but because He wants to be like Christ.
What are some other qualities you should look for in a man?
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