If you’ve been seeing more engagements lately it’s likely because we have officially entered engagement season! Engagement season is the time of year when proposals tend to be more prevalent, typically starting around Thanksgiving and ending in February.
Next month will be my two year engagement anniversary and since we are in the season I thought it would be great to share my thoughts on making the most out of your engagement.
1. Take time to soak it in
It’s normal to want to jump right into planning as soon as your proposal is over. However, I think it’s nice to take at least a few days and soak in the excitement of finally being engaged to the one you love. I still remember how I felt going to sleep the night after my engagement. I couldn’t stop looking at the ring on my finger and believing that it was really mine. I personally chose to keep my courtship with Kareem as private as possible. Even though we didn’t officially belong to each other when we became engaged, it was still nice to finally publicly say we were together. Take time to share the moment with your friends and family. Don’t feel bad about being excited. This is a special time in your life and those who truly love you will want to share in your excitement as well.
2. Seek premarital counseling
Counseling is such a great tool to use when navigating life changes. You and your fiancé should definitely decide to take part in premarital counseling once you are engaged. In the midst of the excitement of being engaged, it’s important to stay grounded in reality. The person or couple that you receive counsel from should be godly, wise, and proven to be in a healthy marriage. Kareem and I received counseling from our pastor and also another trusted pastor & his wife. Counseling was a time for us to ask hard questions and discuss expectations. Topics ranged from finances, intimacy, respect, and more. Planning is great, but remember the bigger picture of your marriage instead of solely focusing on your wedding day.
3. Stay prayerful
More importantly than seeking counsel from others during this time, is seeking counsel from God. I am naturally an over-thinker so I definitely wanted to make sure I was making the right decision in marrying Kareem. You should pray and fast while courting and continue even after the engagement. There would be times during my engagement that I would take a break from planning to just spend time in prayer with God about everything that was going on. Everyone receives confirmation in different ways so I can’t tell you how God will speak to you. However, the key is receiving a personal confirmation in your spirit, God speaks to everyone differently and He will definitely speak to you personally if you are open to listening. It is better to have a broken engagement than a broken marriage, so stay prayerful.
4.Take engagement photos
Engagement photos are a sweet way to cherish the memory of your engagement. Thankfully, our engagement photo session was apart of our wedding photo package. I knew that I wanted to do a few outfit changes for our shoot, the hardest part was finding a location for the photos. After searching and searching we finally decided to just use our wedding venue for the shoot. It was fun doing the shoot and looking back I’m glad we did it. You should make sure you stay true to who you are as a couple during your shoot and ensure that it’s unique to your tastes. If you have a friend with a great camera (or phone) you can also use them to cut back on costs.
5. Make Google Docs your best friend & create a website
During my engagement, I used Google Docs for everything. I used it for my wedding timeline, budgeting, venues, basically anything wedding related. I thought it was a great tool to use because Kareem could also view and make edits as we went along in the planning process. My engagement was relatively short (almost 5 months), so I wanted to ensure that everything was in place and we stuck to deadlines for getting tasks done.
I also believe it’s great to start a wedding website to share details about your wedding day, bridal party, registry, and more. There are so many options to choose from, but I personally felt that The Knot was the best option for me. It builds excitement for your wedding guests and it keeps them in the loop with updates. You can also opt to make your site private so only guests can see the details of your big day!
6. Ask for help
Planning a wedding can be extremely stressful, especially if it’s a large one. I knew I would have to rely on Kareem, family, and friends to get things done efficiently. From making the black cake, putting items on the wedding registry, ordering wedding souvenirs, creating the playlist, and helping with wedding dress appointments I was grateful for all the help I received. Please remember to ask for help or simply take a break. About 3 weeks before my wedding I was getting concerned about certain logistics concerning the wedding day so I decided to hire a “day of” wedding coordinator. I think this was one of the best decisions I made. On my wedding day, everything was basically in her hands. If you can’t hire a coordinator, try asking friends to help out.
7. Stay true to your tastes
The stress that comes with planning can sometimes come from trying to meet everyone’s expectations. I knew that I personally wanted a lot of greenery in my wedding and I wanted my wedding venue to be like a garden. I have always loved wedding dresses with lace so I was set on finding this kind of dress. I am a simple person, so I knew I wanted to keep certain aspects of the day simple. Whether your parents, family, or friends have opinions about the details of your day, it’s important that you let your voice be heard as well. You want to look back on your wedding day and remember that the details included were the ones you really wanted.
8. Keep the love flowing and stay watchful
In the midst of all the planning remember why you are getting married in the first place. Your wedding day will pass, so choose to continue investing in your relationship. Use this as a time to continue courting and growing in love with your fiancé. There would be times when Kareem and I would spend the whole time talking about wedding details and we began to realize that we were getting too caught up in the planning. As a result, we decided to be more intentional about investing more in building our friendship and relationship.
This should also be a time when you stay watchful against falling into temptation. It’s important to remember that you’re not married to your fiancé yet, and in the weeks leading up to your wedding the attraction you feel for each other will build. The devil would like nothing more than having two people who are waiting for their wedding day to fall into sexual sin while engaged. It doesn’t matter how super-spiritual you might be, stay watchful and guard yourselves against certain topics and spending too much time alone together. God is faithful and He can keep you both in this season.
How did you make the most of your engagement or how do you wish you had?
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