Your Image & Worth

Your Image & Worth

What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about the word “merchandise”? For some reason, I always think of expensive jewelry behind a glass display. Maybe something else comes to your mind.

Google describes merchandise simply as “goods to be bought or sold.”

A verse that has been encouraging me lately is taken from Proverbs 31:18. 

It says “She perceives that her merchandise is good…” 

What does that mean?

She: (the Proverbs 31 woman) me or you.

Perceives: becomes aware or conscious

Merchandise: goods to be bought or sold

Good: to be desired or approved of

The Proverbs 31 woman is a woman who is already aware that her goods are approved. Looking at this spiritually, she is already aware that she’s approved of by God. 

This reminder came at a perfect time in my life. 

Since I was a little girl I had always been thin. Like really thin, really skinny. I mean if the wind would blow, I could easily fall over kind of thin. I’m also a bit taller than the average woman and I have super long legs, so this further pointed out my skinniness. I remember going away to college in 2010 and dying to gain the “freshman 15” so I could finally have some kind of shape and “meat on my bones” lol. 

Flash forward to 2018, after being married for a few months I started to gain a little weight. Some people refer to it as “happy weight.”  

Honestly, I didn’t notice I had gained any weight until I went to a BBQ and while saying hello to someone they said “You’ve gained weight. If you’ve gained weight now, what’s going to happen when the kids come?” Even though it was said in a joking way, as much as I tried to brush this comment off, I still went home thinking about what was said. 

After this comment was made, I told myself that I would try to maintain my weight so I would always be able to fit into my wedding dress.

Flash forward to the present, at the beginning of quarantine I had the goal of working out daily. That didn’t happen and I ended up gaining some quarantine weight. With working from home and no longer running around Manhattan, it became easy to pack on a few pounds.

From the first comment made at the BBQ until recently, I’ve heard many comments about the weight I’ve gained. Some of these comments have been said jokingly, while others have been said seriously. No matter what tone they were said in, these comments still stuck with me. 

I realize that people often do not understand that if their words aren’t profiting someone or building them up, they should keep their comments to themselves. 

You might be thinking I’m not “fat” or “big” but when you’ve spent years perceiving yourself a certain way (skinny) and then one day that changes, this can harm your mind and lead to insecurity. 

If you can’t relate to weight, then maybe you can relate to insecurity about your skin, hair, height, speech, clothes, ability, etc. The list goes on. Your insecurity might not have been there in the beginning, but someone’s words or the devil’s lies planted it there. Words are powerful and as the Bible says, the tongue is an unruly member. 

If anything, the recent death of Chadwick Boseman should encourage people to be careful about judging a person’s appearance, because you never know what someone is going through. Your comment can be the final straw that breaks the camel’s back. 

Even with a husband who constantly told me I looked beautiful and I’m fine the way that I am. I found these words to be very sweet, but I didn’t accept them as truth. I started spending a lot of time weighing myself daily, cutting back on food portions, and other stuff to lose the “quarantine weight.” I mentioned everything I was doing to one of my friends and she said to make sure I was doing all of this because I wanted to and not because I was trying to prove myself to people. 

That was a light bulb moment for me. I only wanted to lose weight because I was tired of the hurtful comments. I recently heard a pastor say that once you change your mindset, you can change everything else. Before I changed the work out I did or the food I ate. I had to change why I wanted to lose weight. I had to change my perception.

The reality is I may never fit in my wedding dress again. However, God already approves of me (and you). Not because of anything I’ve done or have to do, but because of who He is. His approval is my motivation for maintaining the temple (body) He has given me in a healthy way.  

His approval should always be your motivation for accomplishing any goal. 

My merchandise is good. 

I hope your heart is encouraged to know that despite the words spoken over you, your merchandise is good, and to put the cherry on top, you have a God who is good.

“And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.”


Comments

18 responses to “Your Image & Worth”

  1. Great job on this posting Shev . Sometimes we don’t realize our choices of words and how it can impact someone else life , sometimes it our cultural way of things , but it not An excuse to be mean to someone else cause you don’t know the emotional impact if can do to that person life . I know I have a lot of insecurities but the older I get I learn that it okay to have flaws no one is perfect and reading your blogs week after week it inspire me and encourage me it okay to be yourself noting it more important then self love and self care . And God approval is the best approve you need and hanging with positive people is important. Shev you’re grown Into a beautiful young lady and a wonderful writer and I know you’re touching a lot of people with your writing whether they young or old it does matter it life journey . So continue being positive cause you don’t know the impact it can do to someone life by just reading your posts . Keep shining God is taken you places . And don’t let people negativity get to you cause it because something is missing from there lives so they turn to some else lives to fill there void but they don’t know that wrongful choices of words will it do it . Keep your head up and continue to write and I can’t wait one day your book will be on every shelfs in the world inspiring someone . Love you Shev.

    1. Shev Mckenzie Avatar
      Shev Mckenzie

      Hi Milly! Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment. Your right that the only approval we really need is from God. Thanks a lot, love you! ❤️

  2. Lori Shirley Avatar
    Lori Shirley

    Such a timely post! We as people have to remember how our words affect others. I agree, if you don’t have anything positive or uplifting to say, please keep them to yourself. Great post Shev! You are definitely helping to encourage and uplift this generation with your transparent posts 🙌🏾

    1. Shev Mckenzie Avatar
      Shev Mckenzie

      Hi Lori! Thank you so much! This post has really encouraged my spirit to keep writing. I’m glad it was a blessing to you!

  3. I love that you included that verse “she perceives that her merchandise is good”. It’s sticking.

    There’s a quote that says “you’re not fat, you have fat”. Reading that changed some of my perspective on body image. Having fat or no fat is not our full identity nor is it an indication of worth. We will all always have thoughts/opinions on things in general but as you said people should keep their thoughts/opinions to themselves especially when they’re not positive/beneficial. When it comes to our body.. our health & how we truly feel about our size is what’s most important.

    Great post poodle ❤️

    1. Shev Mckenzie Avatar
      Shev Mckenzie

      Thanks Pitbull lol! I love that verse so much! I’m glad you enjoyed it and thanks for this great comment lol 😂

  4. Wonderful post! You spoke so much truth and shed light into what really happens in our thought process as women in a world where society dictates our body image and what it should and shouldn’t be. Thank you for sharing ☺️💕

    1. Shev Mckenzie Avatar
      Shev Mckenzie

      Thank you Connie!! Body image is such a big issue that people often like to sweep under the rug! I’m glad you enjoyed it ❤️

  5. Wow! Thank you for your transparency Shev! It’s crazy to think about where insecurities even come from. You didn’t even realize that anything was “wrong” until THEY pointed it out. I almost feel like in those situations just rebuke them verbally or in your mind. Lol. No, but seriously I do it to my parents all the time. Keep shining bright Shev!

    1. Shev Mckenzie Avatar
      Shev Mckenzie

      Lol thanks Grace! I agree with verbally rebuking. This is the best thing for peace of mind 👌

  6. Sobrena T Green Avatar
    Sobrena T Green

    You’re a Beautiful and Elegant young lady, inside and out!

    1. Shev Mckenzie Avatar
      Shev Mckenzie

      Thanks Sabby! So are you!! Love you lots ❤️

  7. Rachel-Lee Avatar
    Rachel-Lee

    “My merchandise is good” A whole word!

    1. Shev Mckenzie Avatar
      Shev Mckenzie

      Yes it is! Thanks Rachel ❤️

  8. Your words are beautiful and YOU are beautiful! Thank you for addressing this topic that affects so many young girls and women alike. So much unnecessary pain and anguish! Let’s work on the inside first and do our best with the outside, WITHOUT expecting perfection and the approval of the rest of the world. Bravo, girl!!!

    1. Shev Mckenzie Avatar
      Shev Mckenzie

      Thank you Regina! Your words are always encouraging! I’m glad this blog blessed you! Thanks a lot ❤️

  9. Well said, we should be taking care of our temples but for the right reasons. It took me a long time to understand this, but now I feel I am in the right path to a healthier way to live 🙂 God bless you

    1. Shev Mckenzie Avatar
      Shev Mckenzie

      Hi Anette! Thank you so much for your comment. I agree that change in the right direction sometimes takes a little while, but what’s important is the CHANGE!

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