Your Image & Worth
What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about the word “merchandise”? For some reason, I always think of expensive jewelry behind a glass display. Maybe something else comes to your mind.
Google describes merchandise simply as “goods to be bought or sold.”
A verse that has been encouraging me lately is taken from Proverbs 31:18.
It says “She perceives that her merchandise is good…”
What does that mean?
She: (the Proverbs 31 woman) me or you.
Perceives: becomes aware or conscious
Merchandise: goods to be bought or sold
Good: to be desired or approved of
The Proverbs 31 woman is a woman who is already aware that her goods are approved. Looking at this spiritually, she is already aware that she’s approved of by God.
This reminder came at a perfect time in my life.
Since I was a little girl I had always been thin. Like really thin, really skinny. I mean if the wind would blow, I could easily fall over kind of thin. I’m also a bit taller than the average woman and I have super long legs, so this further pointed out my skinniness. I remember going away to college in 2010 and dying to gain the “freshman 15” so I could finally have some kind of shape and “meat on my bones” lol.
Flash forward to 2018, after being married for a few months I started to gain a little weight. Some people refer to it as “happy weight.”
Honestly, I didn’t notice I had gained any weight until I went to a BBQ and while saying hello to someone they said “You’ve gained weight. If you’ve gained weight now, what’s going to happen when the kids come?” Even though it was said in a joking way, as much as I tried to brush this comment off, I still went home thinking about what was said.
After this comment was made, I told myself that I would try to maintain my weight so I would always be able to fit into my wedding dress.
Flash forward to the present, at the beginning of quarantine I had the goal of working out daily. That didn’t happen and I ended up gaining some quarantine weight. With working from home and no longer running around Manhattan, it became easy to pack on a few pounds.
From the first comment made at the BBQ until recently, I’ve heard many comments about the weight I’ve gained. Some of these comments have been said jokingly, while others have been said seriously. No matter what tone they were said in, these comments still stuck with me.
I realize that people often do not understand that if their words aren’t profiting someone or building them up, they should keep their comments to themselves.
You might be thinking I’m not “fat” or “big” but when you’ve spent years perceiving yourself a certain way (skinny) and then one day that changes, this can harm your mind and lead to insecurity.
If you can’t relate to weight, then maybe you can relate to insecurity about your skin, hair, height, speech, clothes, ability, etc. The list goes on. Your insecurity might not have been there in the beginning, but someone’s words or the devil’s lies planted it there. Words are powerful and as the Bible says, the tongue is an unruly member.
If anything, the recent death of Chadwick Boseman should encourage people to be careful about judging a person’s appearance, because you never know what someone is going through. Your comment can be the final straw that breaks the camel’s back.
Even with a husband who constantly told me I looked beautiful and I’m fine the way that I am. I found these words to be very sweet, but I didn’t accept them as truth. I started spending a lot of time weighing myself daily, cutting back on food portions, and other stuff to lose the “quarantine weight.” I mentioned everything I was doing to one of my friends and she said to make sure I was doing all of this because I wanted to and not because I was trying to prove myself to people.
That was a light bulb moment for me. I only wanted to lose weight because I was tired of the hurtful comments. I recently heard a pastor say that once you change your mindset, you can change everything else. Before I changed the work out I did or the food I ate. I had to change why I wanted to lose weight. I had to change my perception.
The reality is I may never fit in my wedding dress again. However, God already approves of me (and you). Not because of anything I’ve done or have to do, but because of who He is. His approval is my motivation for maintaining the temple (body) He has given me in a healthy way.
His approval should always be your motivation for accomplishing any goal.
My merchandise is good.
I hope your heart is encouraged to know that despite the words spoken over you, your merchandise is good, and to put the cherry on top, you have a God who is good.
“And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.”
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