Good Food, Good Presentation
Then: Growing up, I can remember being surrounded by great food. From fried dumpling and ackee in the morning to curry goat and rice & peas in the evening, having access to these delicacies was a major plus. I loved gathering with my family for BBQs and holidays because that meant even more great food and spending time together. I looked forward to my aunt’s pepper shrimp and my cousin’s oxtail (It’s a blessing to come from a family of great cooks). My parents never really took us out to eat, they always preferred for us to have traditional meals at home. When we did go out they would always complained that their food was too salty or too clyding lol.
I remember my mom always emphasizing how important it was for me to learn how to cook. This wasn’t something I became interested in until college. I was, however, on the same page with her when it came to presentation and cleaning up. My mom always told me that the home should be clean and presentable because it was your home and you never know when someone might stop by. Everything had to look good, even if we never touched the silverware and plates stored in the living room lol.
Now: As I’ve gotten older and now have to maintain my personal space, presentation is something I still value. I now realize that my parents were trying to show me that how you present yourself to the world is important. You shouldn’t live your life to please people (as I’ve mentioned before), but the reality is that people’s first judgments of you are usually visual. My parents taught me the importance of speaking, dressing, and behaving properly. They also emphasized the importance of having manners! They’ve taught me that there’s nothing wrong with having pride in how you carry yourself and liking nice things, as long as you remain humble. Also, I do love going out to eat but I get what they mean about some things being too salty lol.
Forever a Pickney
As a teenager, I would always find it funny when my friends could openly talk to their parents about their crushes and their romantic relationships because I knew my parents weren’t going to have any of that, especially while I was in school. There would be no such thing as a boyfriend or “friend” as they would like to say at that age. Growing up in church, I also knew this was something that wouldn’t really be spoken of until I reached the age of getting serious about marriage. I always wondered how I would bring up the guy that I wanted to get married to, if I never even spoke to them about guys in that way. I figured I would cross that bridge when I got there.
When I finally got there, it was a little nerve-racking for me. I was 24, done with school, paying my bills, yet still nervous to tell my parents that I wanted to get married to my “friend” lol. I knew my parents wanted to make sure that I would be in the best hands. At first, it took some time of consideration but after more conversations they finally started getting more comfortable with this new transition and the fact that I was ready for marriage. One particular conversation I had with my mom will always be memorable to me. This conversation made up for all of the conversations we didn’t have about relationships or guys as I was growing up. I could truly tell that she felt a little sad about this new phase of life I was in because in her eyes I would always be her little girl. In our conversation she assured me that if I truly loved the person I wanted to get married to, the opinions of others didn’t matter. In the moment, that really meant a lot to me. I’ve learned that Jamaican parents aren’t always emotionally expressive, but when they are, it means a lot!
If you’ve grown up with Jamaican parents you know that no matter how old you get, married or not married, kids or no kids, you will always be a pickney (child) in their eyes. There are many more things that come to mind when thinking about my experiences but these are the main things that stick out to me. Growing up Jamaican has been both challenging and rewarding but I wouldn’t want to grow up any other way. My experiences have shaped me into who I am today and for that I’m grateful.
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