Disclaimer
I recognize that all of our experiences “growing up Jamaican” may be different. This is just my personal experience. I also recognize that some of these experiences may be cross-cultural. I hope you enjoy reading!
Background
I spent my first few years of life growing up in St. Elizabeth, Jamaica. My parents migrated to the United States with my sister and I in the mid-90s. I was 3 yrs old and my sister was 6 months old when we migrated so we don’t have much memory of our earliest beginnings in Jamaica. However, growing up, it was clear that my parents wanted to instill in us the same values they grew up with and of course keep the culture alive. Below are some of the things that come to mind when thinking about my own personal experience.
Work Hard
Then: One of the values my parents wanted us to embrace was the value of hard work. As a kid, I always saw my parents going off to work, sometimes almost all day, every day of the week. It was clear that they wanted to show us that if we wanted to achieve the “American Dream” it would take hard work. My dad was especially strict about getting good grades in school. He wanted me to do well so I could eventually go into nursing or become a doctor. He always had the mindset that you could only be “successful” if you pursued: medicine or law. This is a struggle that I know many other Caribbean or African kids have to endure with their parents. As you can imagine, this was very challenging during my freshman year when I told him I would be majoring in Sociology. This contributed to some of the anxiety I dealt with in college. I didn’t want to mess up by picking an “unsuccessful” major. After doing some more research, I found out that I could combine my love for Sociology with health by pursuing a degree in Public Health. Ironically, when my sister (the more free-spirited child lol) went off to college, she pursued what she wanted to regardless of the outside influences & majored in Sociology.
Now: As I’ve gotten older and started in my career, my parents and I have reached more of a middle ground. I think they are starting to realize there are many paths to success and success is also about loving what you do. I’ve also grown to be more thankful for them pushing me to work hard because I try to have this mindset when I think about achieving my dreams. If you want to achieve something, you have to work for it. For my parents to pack up their things and leave the country they had known for their entire lives with their two kids was a bold decision. It was a decision made in hopes that their kids would have access to opportunities that they didn’t have. When I think of my them and all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins who have made this decision, my heart swells with pride. I think of them and I am reminded that anything is possible if you believe, and of course, work for it. I’m proud to come from a culture that values hard work and dedication.
Express Yourself
Then: Growing up watching “Full House’ and “Sister Sister” and other shows provided a major culture shock for me. I always thought it was interesting when Tia and Tamara would go through a rough time and then their parents would come to their room, have a heart to heart with them, and then everything would be better. This was different for me because I never really experienced those heart to hearts growing up. If I was having a hard time at school, body image issues, friendship troubles, I usually just held it all in or spoke about it with a friend who was my age. I think often in Jamaican culture if you’re overly excited or overly sad about something you’re seen as “too emotional.” As a kid, I knew my parents loved me because of how they took care of us and made sure we had everything we needed, however, I sometimes wish their expression of love was more verbally and physically displayed.
Now: In some instances, I think forcing myself to have a lack of emotion has given me a thicker skin and helped me navigate challenging situations. However, I’ve had to learn that having emotions is not a bad thing. I don’t believe we should be ruled by our emotions, but having them is what makes us human. Looking back I wish there was more emphasis placed on encouragement, than correction in my early years. I believe this would have given me more confidence to put myself out there and to be more comfortable being transparent with others. I now understand that my parents were limited in certain expressions because that’s how they were most likely raised. This understanding hasn’t made me bitter, it has encouraged me to say that I want to change the narrative when I have my kids one day. I want them to respect me as a parent but still feel comfortable expressing themselves to me about anything.
This particular topic was so special to me that I had to turn it into two parts…….
Part Two coming next week!
Leave a Reply