I recently found out that humans think 50,000-70,000 thoughts a day and 80% of these thoughts are negative. What we think about each and every second, minute and hour is important. Our thoughts impact our feelings, which impact our behavior, which impact our destiny. There are many ways to have the right headspace. The 3 ways that are most meaningful to me are having the right meditation, expectation and validation.
The Right Meditation
Having the right meditation is deeper than thinking positive thoughts. It means to think deeply, ponder, or review something in your mind. How many times have you rolled out of bed to start your day and you are bombarded with negative thoughts? You might wake up thinking about your regrets, you might be anxious about an event that will take place later that day or even weeks away, and sometimes it might not be a specific negative thought, you just feel as if you’re in a bad headspace. If you’re reading this and saying that you have been there, I want you to know that I have been there also.
A great way to combat this is by choosing the right meditation. The right meditation can be found in prayer, God’s word, or a song. I find that in the mornings when I get up and start my day without the right meditation, my entire headspace can be disturbed by the slightest thing, place, or person.. However, the mornings where I spend time in God’s presence, my headspace is a lot clearer. I believe mornings are the best time to get into the right meditation, this will help set the tone for the rest of the day. Choosing to start our mornings right, takes discipline. This might mean waking up earlier than usual. We read in the Bible where Jesus left the disciples many times to pray and be alone with His Father. If the savior of the world had to get away from time to time, this means we must get away too.
There have been mornings where I wake up with regret or feeling condemned and I meditate on verses like “They (mercies) are new every morning, great is thy faithfulness.” – Lamentations 3:23 or “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit”.
On mornings where I wake up feeling defeated or overwhelmed, I’ve played Never Be Defeated by Rich Tolbert or I pray until I PRAY.
To maintain these right meditations throughout the day, I have to meditate on the truth that I took in from the morning. This means rolling the verses and lyrics over and over in my mind throughout the day and pondering what their meaning is for my life. When my mind is filled with the right meditations, there is no room for the wrong headspace.
The Right Expectation
William Shakespeare once said, “expectation is the root of all heartache.” I hate this quote. I hate it because I believe inside all of us is a dreamer. We dream, we hope, we believe for a better tomorrow. I believe expectations are powerful. Maybe you had the expectation to be married before 30 or the expectation to be a successful business owner. Sometimes when our expectations are not met, we can be crushed with disappointment or heartache. However, we don’t have to agree with this quote and end our expectations in heartache. If heartache comes after expectation, we should be encouraged to expect again. We should expect God’s way. God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask our think (Ephesians 3:20). Sometimes our expectations are too limited for God. We limit God to a specific time frame, person, or thing. As the saying goes “we should take the limits off God.” He wants the best for us. His expectation for us is “an expected end”- Jeremiah 29:11. Having the right expectation means being confident that God knows exactly what we need and when we need it.
The Right Validation
Since I was a kid I have always been a people-pleaser. I loved being a teacher’s pet. Even outside of the classroom, I have always loved being loved. After all, who doesn’t like to be liked? As I’ve gotten older I have learned that people-pleasing can spread you very thin. I’ve also grown to know that people-pleasing is a bad habit, and if it is not broken you will never truly live your life as God intended. A verse that helps me when I am tempted to please people is “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” -Galatians 1:10. This verse puts me in the right headspace and reminds me that I must live to please God and not man. It is God that validates us, and not man. A great way to remember that God already validates you is by speaking words of affirmation over yourself. Some great affirmations are:
Jesus loves me
Jesus is with me
Jesus is for me
Jesus approves of me
I am anointed
I am beautiful
I am strong
I am victorious
I am blessed
I am free
I have the mind of Christ
Seeking validation from people is crippling. The reality is that one-day people can put you up and the next day they can put you down. We can be assured that this is not the case with God. If you’re at work and one person out of a crowd claps after your presentation, be encouraged that God already approves of you. If someone no longer wants to be your friend because you’ve decided to put some boundaries in your life by saying “NO,” good for them, God is still with you. A big place we often run to for validation is social media. One thing that I have stopped doing is looking at who views my Whatsapp or Instagram stories. This might seem simple, but I’ve proven it as an effective way to stop focusing so much on pleasing people. When we post things it should be because we: genuinely enjoy what we’re posting, we want to inform people of something or we want to share something positive. It should never be to please people or gain approval. When we stop seeking external validation, our minds are at peace.
Having the right headspace is possible if we are determined to seek after it.What are some other ways that you maintain the right headspace?
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