OWNING YOUR IDENTITY
The word identity consists of many different things. It can be explained from many viewpoints whether it be biologically, sociologically, psychologically, and the like. We all have an identity, however many of us struggle in understanding and accepting aspects of it.
A few weeks ago, in one of the workshops at my job, we gave our students (who are high school-aged) the assignment of writing an “I AM” poem. I made sure that the instructions weren’t too restrictive because I wanted to hear what they would honestly come up with. Some of the poems were super deep and poetic such as “I am a bird flying in the sky and soaring in the clouds while dodging the raindrops…” Others were much simpler like “I am black. I am creative. I am the youngest…”. Both responses were meaningful. The theme of our workshops that week was “Social Impact” and how we as individuals, organizations/corporations all have a social impact whether it is positive or negative. In debriefing that “I AM” poem activity, we asked the students what the connection of the poem and the theme were. The conclusion was that it is important for us to know who we are and that the way we see ourselves determines the kind of impact that we will have on the world.
I echo that by saying that it is important for us to know and accept who we are. The purpose and the impact that God wants us to have in this world is deeply connected to our identity. By no means am I perfect or do I have all things figured out. I don’t believe that owning our identity is a “one and done” experience, it is something that we will spend our whole lives in a battle over. However, below I will share my experiences of learning to own some of the natural and spiritual aspects of my identity in hopes that it will be helpful to someone else.
(Personality/Interest Wise): I am more of an introvert than an extrovert. Sometimes I define myself as an ambivert. I enjoy talking to people and hanging out. I also like having time to myself, and honestly, I enjoyed not being around too many people in this time of quarantine lol. I am compassionate, I love Jesus and prayer, I love to laugh, I like to write, I enjoy photographing nature, architecture, and objects (images throughout this blog are my own), I love to play my music loud & to sing (not in front of others), I like nice things, I enjoy haircare & skincare, and the list continues. It may sound strange but sometimes I write down lists just like this about what I like to do, what makes me happy, what I love, etc.
Why do I do that? Because self-reflection and knowing what we genuinely are interested in is important. There is always pressure coming from somewhere that can persuade us to shift some aspect of who we are. In this age of social media, while being exposed to the lives of others can help us explore new interests and connect with people, sometimes I feel that being overexposed to the lives of others can alter who we are. We can lose parts of ourselves as a result of doing what is popular or what would get the most applause, neglecting everything else that is unique about us. Social media is certainly not the only place. One of my earliest memories of feeling the pressure to change who I was, was in elementary school. I had a close friend that I enjoyed hanging out with, we had common interests and enjoyed hanging out together but the summer before middle school she decided she wanted to make some changes and to hang out with a different group of people. I asked her what all of the changes were about, and she said she wanted to be popular and she encouraged me to join her in her new venture. Honestly, even at that age, I knew that that was something that I would not be willing to do. I did not join her or her new company and I ended up losing a friend, but you know what, God blessed me with another close friend who is still in my life until this day.
Since that time there have been many other times where there has been pressure to conform some aspect of myself to the likings or appeasement of others. There were times where I simply didn’t fit in with different groups of people but I’ve learned that I will always connect with the right people who share the same goals, who accept me, and are connected to where God is taking me.
(Physically): All of our physical features are divinely handpicked by God. Our skin color, our lips, our shape, our hair texture, our voice, our height, even our toenails are all a part of God’s plan for our life. When it comes to our physical appearance there are some things that we can change such as certain skin imperfections or our weight and then there are some things that you simply cannot change. This is one of the areas that I’ve had struggles throughout my life. It took and sometimes still does take a lot of believing that the way that God made me was exactly the way He wanted and needed me to be that helped me to accept and love some of the things that I did not love before. I know society always has a preference for certain things and I know that sometimes we as women love to compare ourselves to other women. Not only physically but also in other aspects as well, but I’ve learned that it is such a distraction and a waste of time and energy. We all have our own purpose and are beautiful in it.v
Spiritually: The more that I’ve grown in my walk with God, the better I’ve been able to accept who He’s made me be. There is no way that you can truly know who you are and embrace that without knowing your Creator. This is the area that will give us the strength and confidence to be who we truly are in all aspects of our identity. It will also give us the courage to walk away from things, situations, and people that will compromise that. Knowing how important this area is, is to also know that this will be the place where many of us face our biggest struggles.
Just like you, I’ve had my share of battles, hurts, struggles, temptations, disappointments, etc. I’ve learned that the way that I’ve dealt with those things at the moment or even afterward were many times directly related to what I thought about myself and what I thought about God. I’ve learned that sometimes because of our experiences we take on new identities birthed out of pain, pride, anger, unforgiveness, regret, and even shame. It becomes the lens that we see life through. It’s important to know that, that is not what God wants for us. The God of grace, mercy, love, redemption, forgiveness, and peace wants us to give Him all the aspects of ourselves that don’t match up with what He wants for us and to accept and embrace the identity that He has for us.
This is not always an easy task but no matter what may happen to us in this life, when we or those around us push us to reject what God says, we have to fight that. We are His children, we are chosen, we are safe, we are accepted, we are loved, and He’s got us. We can find safety and acceptance in Him. I’ve learned to rest and recite the word of God in my most difficult moments. Some songs that have encouraged me in hard times have been “If God/ Nothing But The Blood” by Cassey J, “Perfect Father” by All Nations Worship Assembly Atlanta, and “Forever” by Jason Nelson. The words remind me about who God is, which helps me to remember who I am also.
As I mentioned earlier, owning my identity is something that I am not always perfect in doing. There are many times where I’ve lost my way but I encourage you as I encourage myself to keep on striving and fighting to be who you are authentically. Above every internal/external pressure you may face. Your purpose and the impact that you will have in this world is very much dependent on it.
Thanks for reading & thanks to my lovely sister for this opportunity. Besos!
by Sasha-Lee
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